Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Dr. Darrell White's Personal Blog

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Father’s Day

From Sunday musings on Crossfit.com:

Sunday musings…

Really just one thing on my mind today, Father’s Day. It’s a funny little day, really, in just the opposite way that Mother’s Day is a funny little day. On Mother’s Day we are prompted to remember to thank Mom for all of the thankless stuff she does for us, putting our needs first, before hers, on a daily basis. Mother’s day is our one day to expunge any guilt we might have for not noticing all that stuff as well as a day to tell her how much we love her.

On Father’s day we remember Dad’s in the house.

That is, of course, if Dad is actually IN the house on Father’s Day. Have you taken a moment to think about our time honored Father’s Day activities? You know…Dad goes off with his buddies to play golf, or he’s on a boat or in a stream somewhere fishing. It’s kind of a throwback I think to the days when Dads were the sole breadwinner in a one-income family and worked 6 days a week so that they could do a week’s worth of fix-it duty on Sunday. Father’s Day was that one “get-out-of-work” pass.

I always thought this was kinda weird, actually. I mean, Dad was gone all week at work, and he was sorta at work even when he was home during the week, engaging only when forced to by our transgressions or if we as kids asked him to help with some very major issue. It wasn’t malicious or unkind, just…distant.

If you’re a wonky egghead like yours truly you read stuff about the effect that Fathers have on their kids and the kids’ development. Turns out that just having a Dad in the house (as long as he’s not hurting folks), even one who mostly occupies a rocking chair with life swirling around him rather than through him, is actually really beneficial for healthy growth for both boys AND girls. Makes it all the more strange that we traditionally give the old guy the “day off” on Father’s Day.

I think I’ve always felt this way, even way back when I was too young to either know it or articulate it. When my Dad would play golf on Father’s Day I would make sure that I was a caddy assigned to his group. After my brother and I did the lawn I would plop myself down next to that rocking chair for whatever ball game or golf tournament was on the tube, ready to catch any stray words that might fall my way. Those could be some quiet afternoons, for sure, but those were also the rare days that ended in a hug.

Mrs. Bingo asked me what I wanted to do today for MY Father’s Day. She knew the answer, of course, because I’ve given the same one for 21 years now. I said I wanted to be included in all of the kids’ stuff, whatever they might have going on. I wanted to be THERE, even if there is not typically some place I might choose to be (garden, barn, etc). I thought I’d do some of the Dad stuff that they know me for, too, if they’d have me. I’ll be off to make buttermilk pancakes in just a minute.

So Happy Father’s Day to all of you Crossfit Dad’s. Remember to give your own Old Man a call; most likely he really DID love you and really DID like being your Dad, he just didn’t know how to say it. Then, if you can, jump right into whatever the kids have going today. Fully engage in the act of “Dadship”. Your kids will think that it’s you who is giving them the gift, but really it’s still your day and it’s still all about you today.

Giving yourself a day to be nothing but Dad. 3-2-1…GO!

4 Responses to “Father’s Day”

  1. June 21st, 2010 at 8:09 am

    Terry says:


    It takes a long time for some of us to realize that our Dad’s just might not have been equipped to say the things we always wanted to hear.

    Even though my Dad is no longer here for me to talk to I now understand that he was saying all the right things but just not with words.

    Thanks for the great post.


  2. June 21st, 2010 at 9:49 am

    darrellwhite says:

    My pleasure, Terry! Today is actually my Dad’s birthday so I’ll get a chance to chat with him again.

  3. June 28th, 2010 at 8:21 am

    anne hurst says:

    my dad was like the one you described in times past. the one priceless thing he gave though was unconditional love. oh and he was an old world handsome full blooded italian. i wish he would have shared more about his history. he was one of thirteen children.
    thanks darrell for helping me remember how lucky i was.

  4. June 30th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    darrellwhite says:

    My pleasure, Anne. It’s nice to be jogged into memories that make one smile, something I did a lot writing this one.

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