Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Dr. Darrell White's Personal Blog

Cape Cod

Sunday musings 1/17/16

Sunday musings…

1) Bowie. The Starman goes home. A saddened planet listens anew.

2) Rickman. Alan Rickman, actor famous for his roles in “Die Hard” and the “Harry Potter” series, also died recently. Tough week to be a 69 year-old English male artist. The WSJ described him as an actor who “spoke with a twinkle in his throat.”

Thinking I’ll check out “Galaxy Quest” and maybe “Truly Madly Deeply” when I finish listening to Bowie.

3) Frazz. In today’s comics, after being asked “how’s it going?”

Right between ‘don’t get your hopes up’ and ‘be careful what you wish for.’

You know, for the next time you don’t think “fine” will cut it as an answer.

4) For sale. What’s up with everyone in CrossFit out to sell something to everyone else? Seriously, it seems like I can’t go an hour without somebody with a “name” in the CrossFit world offering to sell me something. Making this particularly annoying is the fact that most of this is information or insight that once upon a time was freely offered in exchange for, well, in exchange for pretty much nothing but the collective goodwill and wellbeing of the CrossFitter on the receiving end.

It makes me sad to note that so many of the folks all about selling are what can only be described as CrossFit OG’s. These are people who’ve been around long enough to not only remember those old days but to have lived that part of CrossFit’s history. Not only that, but many of these same people were stalwarts on the Message Board, available to any and all with advice on stuff like programming and nutrition. For Free.

Good thing I get a big, fat percentage of what you all pay for the info here on CrossFit.com. Hmmm…I’m probably overpaid, too.

5) Enlightened. There’s been quite a bit of sadness around Clan bingo these last several months. My Dad left us in October; we’ve learned that another family member will leave us in the near future. Stage of life stuff for sure, but also a soul-sucking odyssey, however inevitable and unavoidable. It’s been hard to find peace, hard to find a way to be OK with this part of the journey. “Why” seems inescapable. The search for meaning, for some sense of enlightenment is ever present for me, especially now.

A couple of my friends, people who care about me, have worries about the darkness I see in so many of the answers. One in particular with whom I’ve shared the coordinates of my soul’s travels engaged me about the meaning of the “here” and eventually the “there”, wherever my Dad and his Mom might be now that they are no longer here. It helped, so I will share it as best I can.

We are all, in some way, seekers of that “why”. The search for enlightenment can be seen as film study, if you will. Some see only the movie, that which is projected in front of them as they march through life. For them, that’s all there is, and if there is any contemplation it is only on what lies directly in front of them. Others, perhaps nothing more than curious, turn around and see a projector. In that moment the depth of understanding is just a tiny bit greater.

The knowledge that a projector exists is still rather concrete and not at all satisfying to someone on the journey toward something that we might call enlightenment. It’s something that might not necessarily explain why it is that we come to these places and these times of struggle. This is someone who will turn and walk back to the projector, disassemble it and discover the film. Here…here certainly is where the answer must lie. Think scientist or explorer. Many of the answers are to be found here, for sure. Most will find answers that suffice.

This is where I found myself stranded. The kinds of answers found here were no longer enough, and because of this the skies over my journey had become ever darker, roiled by ceaseless storms. It was here that my friend broke through and found something that was enough to help, at least enough. You see the images on the wall, turn around and discover the projector, then to look inside and find the film. Now, he said, now is the time to look for the light. Always look for the light.

Never, never, ever stop looking for the light.

I’ll see you next week…


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