Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

1) Magi. As in the O. Henry short story “The Gift of the Magi.” You remember it, right? A young couple so in love they each sell their most priceless possessions in order that they may afford to buy each other a most personal, meaningful gift. Della cuts her hair and sells it so that she can buy a chain for Jim’s treasured pocket watch. Jim, of course, sells the watch to buy beautiful combs for Della’s exquisite hair.

All at once rendering their gifts useless, and yet as priceless as the sacrifices they made to obtain them.

2) Seeing. Remember the story I told last week when I was re-telling the tale of Beth explaining how Santa is, was, and always will be real? About the Dad who taught his son the true meaning of giving a gift? The son was tasked with thinking deeply about someone who would be lifted by a gift that was given from someone who had done just that, thought deeply about the recipient.

To give a truly meaningful gift does not necessarily need to involve sacrifice, like Della and Jim, nor does it require anonymity as the father insisted in order that his son become a true Santa. What it does need is the kind of deep knowledge about the recipient of your gift in such a way that they feel seen. Known. Understood.

Such a gift need not be practical in a way that it fulfills a need, nor does it necessarily need to be impractical in a way that it fulfills only a want. It could, of course, do both, like a hair comb or a watch chain, but my conjecture is that it is the transmission that you know, really know the recipient that is the truer essence of the giving.

This past week I have been on the receiving end of many, many gifts. Each one, however small (thin peds to fit into stylish new beach shoes) or large (IYKYK!) sent the message loud and clear: “I see you!”

3) Loved. If you celebrate Christmas (or Hanukah for that matter) you probably did a bit of gift giving recently. Sure, some of it probably felt kinda like an obligation, but at least of bit of that gift giving was really more about the expression of love behind the gift. That’s the easy part, at least for me, expressing love. I spent so much time thinking about the people who would be receiving my gifts. Once I gave myself permission to freely express love it really became pretty easy.

And it was fun, too!

The receiving end of the gift thing is a lot of fun, too, of course. I mean–come on–who doesn’t like opening up gifts?! One in particular left me standing and staring and just repeating “holy shit” over and over again! The video is hilarious. Lots of funny stuff around getting a gift, too. Think of all the funny “re-gifting” stories you have, or the last “White Elephant” party you attended. In the White house the philosophy of “it’s OK to say you probably won’t use that gift” became “REJECT THAT GIFT”! Seriously, toss it back under the tree right in front of the gift giver reject it. That got to be quite funny. We still talk about my sister Kerstin and her multi-year streak of having her gifts rejected, and the year of redemption where each of her gifts was everyone’s highlight of the year.

In reality, accepting a gift is really rather easy. It’s accepting the love behind the gift, accepting another’s love that’s a little more complex. Maybe you didn’t know. Maybe you are worried it’s conditional, with strings attached. More often, though, the problem is that you aren’t really sure HOW to accept the love, or even if you are deserving of such a thing. That’s it, isn’t it? That’s really what you’re thinking. “They can’t possibly love me, love me that much. If they only knew the truth.” Or something like that.

Here’s the truth: they really DO know. Know you. And because of that they really, actually, truly DO love you. Most importantly there’s not even a little bit of a mistake here, and more than likely there’s not even the tiniest thread of a string attached. Not only are you loved, not only has someone in some way told you that, you deserve every little bit of that love. Carry that thought into the New Year. That you really are loved. That you deserve that love. Resolve this year to believe that. Resolve in 2026 to be openly thankful for that love, just like you are for that beautifully gift-wrapped present under the tree or the Menorah.

Resolve to let yourself be loved this year.

I’ll see you, well, next year…

This entry was posted on Monday, December 29th, 2025 at 11:15 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.