Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Dr. Darrell White's Personal Blog

Cape Cod


A door opens. A door closes. A family grows, as it inevitably shrinks. Desperation or desire to halt the ebb while preserving the flow, both are eventually denied. One comes as one goes. Life’s passages are irresistible.

Ever so.

My Dad stands at the precipice. Not a one of us in the White family is ready for his last, fateful step. His ebb is now greater than his flow. Never a large man physically, he was once larger than life. Time and gravity have conspired to shrink him; he seems so much smaller in all ways. And yet what we have of him, both his physical self and our outsized memories of his outsized younger self…well…we put ourselves between him and the precipice, hold both him and his memory close lest he stumble.

At the same time our family grows in wonderful ways, our flow is strong as the next generation enters a new Passage. My son Dan is engaged! Our firstborn, he of the outsized everything, possessed of a “presence” so huge he fills a building all by himself, Dan is now part of a lovely couple. The White family grows by one as we welcome Brittany, and by extension her family. Flow, at least for the moment, exceeds ebb.

In all honesty I’m not really ready for EITHER Passage. Not Dan’s, not my Dad’s. This change stuff is hard, even when it’s a welcome change, like welcoming Brittany. The young couple are like sine waves that multiply all that is good about each, and flatten out to zero all that is less than good. Passage through this door portends happiness. My wife Beth and I, daughter Megan and son Randy are thrilled.

One stands on the on-ramp, poised to travel through many Passages to come. The other stands at the precipice, a final Passage looms just beyond. A door opens. A door closes. Tears of joy. Tears of sorrow.

Ever so.




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