Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Dr. Darrell White's Personal Blog

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Sunday musings 12/2/12

Sunday musings…

1) DH. “Designated Husband.” I accompanied Mrs. bingo to Athleta last night for a retail bl00dbath. As I sat in the “husband chair” in the fitting room I offered “assistance” to all of the women shopping without male accompaniment.

Imagine the value of having someone who will honestly answer “do these leggings make my bum look fat?” without fear of the consequences.

2) Microcategorization. The new advertising field of ever more exacting and minutely defining a marketing target. The more that is known about you (age, gender, address, income, subscriptions, job, size, etc) the less varied are the ads directed to you.

My question, for the marketing but also for anyone in their perusal of available new information, how can you grow, how can you become whatever it is that constitutes the next best version of you if all you ever see is stuff that represents who and what you are now?

3) Dreamcatcher. I have been having two sets of recurring dreams, or at least dreams with two recurring themes. Do you get these? Is the dream always the same (not me) or just the theme (definitely me)? Do you try to figure out why they keep happening, and why those dreams or those themes?

One of mine is probably pretty easy, the theme of impending loss. My kids are getting older, becoming young adults, and beginning to start their post-college lives. Standard fare, and easy to see how I would find this both wonderful and sad because I am blessed to have very nice friendships growing with my kids. I am also soon to confront the loss of a parent, and this is quite sad, as inevitable as it might be.

Nope, it’s the other dream theme that’s bugging me. This one finds we with unfinished business, or a task that I just cannot start or complete. It often takes place in a school setting, a test I haven’t studied for, or did not know was scheduled, a project due in hours that will take weeks to complete. Again and again, night after night.

Something’s up in that ol’ subconscious, eh? Does this happen to you? My dreamcatcher isn’t up to the task of late.

4) Peer Pressure. Why is it that some folks, particularly younger people, succumb to peer pressure while others somehow find the will to resist? Why, for example, does one kid accept the offered illegal substance while another says ‘no thanks’? What is it that compels the group to pile on, but one outlier says ‘enough’?

Millions of words have been spilled on this topic of course, and I’m certainly not qualified to add to the psych canon, but I’ve noticed a couple of things in CrossFit Kids groups that remind me of how a certain guy I knew walked away from an entire peer group, twice, rather than cave to pressure.

It’s easy and simple, hard and complex all at once. It has to do with success and succeeding, and getting ‘caught’ in the act of that success. Kids who regularly and routinely succeed at difficult tasks of any kind start to have a stronger belief in themselves that transfers to other stuff. Kids who are held to standards that they must self-police tend to develop a stronger sense that they can make an ethical or moral call without the need for the external confirmation of the group. You count every rep; you move through a full ROM. You make the call, or if judged you accept the call of the judge. CF Kids does not hold the sole franchise for this, of course. The “First Tee” golf program, school chess programs, lots of other places exist where this type of belief in self gained through achievement and accountability exist.

It’s never too late to start this process, of course, because the dangers of peer pressure, groupthink, and the psychology of the mob do not magically disappear when we reach the age of majority. Where do you fall on this continuum? Can you think for yourself in the face of peer pressure? Do you have that inner sense, that mental muscle memory that lets you be confident when you are sure that the group is wrong?

When the time comes are you strong enough to stand alone?

I’ll see you next week…

Posted by bingo at December 2, 2012 8:39 AM


One Response to “Sunday musings 12/2/12”

  1. December 31st, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Dalton says:

    Great post, really enjoyed it!
    — Dalton


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