Sunday musings 9/16/18
Sunday musings…
1) Sabbath. I read this week a proposal to reinstate the institution of the Sabbath, with or without religion, as a way to force at least one day each week without any work in the U.S.
This is an idea worth considering.
2) Bubble. Yesterday’s WSJ Magazine had something like 15 full page ads for really expensive wristwatches. Like, stupid expensive wristwatches. Says here that’s a sign of a bubble about to burst. If people have so much money they can be persuaded to buy a watch by a magazine ad then I’m saying the economy is overheated. Like the P/E ratio, the Wristwatch Index.
First offered on “Sunday musings”, 9/16/18.
3) Communication. My Mom needs a new cellphone. Her old one is apparently dying, and the service contract that covers the phone is so expensive that it borders on usury. Mom needs a new phone and this is turning out to be a rather fraught experience not only for her, but also for her 4 adult children and their spouses. As is the case with all things family, the “why” of this is complex because participating in the process of obtaining a new phone involves so much more than just the kind of financial and technical exercise that you, or your kids, go through when your iGalaxaPhone goes on the fritz.
Oh sure, the technical part is important here, too. Mom’s not all that good on using her 2003-level tech on a phone that doesn’t even “flip”. Think about your first cell phone and how it worked. Kinda like a “real” phone, wasn’t it? At least a real touchtone phone at least. You hit “ON” or “SEND”, tapped in a number on a standard 1-9+0 keypad, and waited for the phone on the other end to ring. If you were born before 1980 or so this was second nature. Texting was exotic and expensive, so most people didn’t do it. Interestingly, if you were born before 1950, it actually took a bit of doing to get used to having to hit “SEND” to make the call; your home phone just did the job after you dialed. My Mom has found this to be a problem. She is a phone caller and a talker, and still has 2 phones attached to a wall in her house to supplement a “cordless” phone. How will she do with a password-locked screen, the swipes and touches of a state-of-the-art smartphone?
This brings up the first uncomfortable topic for her kids and their spouses: Mom is getting older. Make no mistake, Mom is still in full control of all of her faculties. She is whip smart and continues to be able to call into play everything she knows. Indeed, she is quite happy to share with all of us her thoughts on how what she knows squares with what we are all doing! But she will admit that she has changed as she has gotten older, and that some of those changes have made life a bit harder. She doesn’t really like to drive after dark or in the rain, for example, a couple of very common things that happen to everyone. Changes occurring around her over which she has little control make her more unhappy than they did when she was younger. Thank Heaven’s she is surrounded by so many wonderful folks who look after her! A few months ago her plumber figured out the software change to her TV cable remote so she didn’t have to, and got her all set up in time for Jeopardy.
As an aside, tech companies should be tasked with making all of their offerings geared to be usable by the LEAST technically savvy users in their markets. That would demonstrate real innovation.
Over my years musing on Sundays I have often thought about how people communicate. The differences in style between generations, and the changes that have occurred over my lifetime, for example. This is the hardest part for us in my generation as we tackle this issue for Mom; we must look through HER eyes, through the prism of HER needs and HER comfort as we seek to find the successor to her 15 year old cellphone. You see, we communicate much differently than Mom. When she wants to get in touch that means she wants to TALK to you. That’s right…old-fashioned verbal communication. This morning I have texted with Randy’s family (pics of The Littles included!) and Beth (from an airplane!), emailed a colleague, Tweeted @ someone and answered a FB message. With all of that I am a comparative Luddite; I don’t Snap, Instagram, or WhatsApp. Mom dials up a call.
What my Mom needs is a phone. A telephone. What she wants is a phone that feels as close to a phone that is wired into the wall next to her fridge. She is emblematic of her generation; a phone call is in itself a compromise, because the person to whom she is speaking isn’t right there with her in the kitchen or on the couch. We want Mom to be available to us and we want her to feel that we are available to her, but what that means is terrifically different to each of us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to just send her a quick text. It is at the same time the most loving, and yet the hardest thing to do for us to acknowledge our Mom is ready only for a new version of what for us is an old thing, a phone that can make phone calls.
There is nothing wrong with that.
In this day and age how we communicate with someone else is a sign of commonality, but it is also a sign of respect. I text Dan to make sure it’s OK to call for example. My daughters-in-law text me the photos and videos that they Snap to everyone else. My Mom wants to talk. When she has a problem or is in need of some help, being able to reach out and talk makes her more comfortable. My siblings and I so desperately want to believe that Mom is just like us, only now maybe just a little slower around the house. We want that to be more than we allow ourselves to think or say. Mom needs a phone to make phone calls. As hard as it is for us to be here and to think along these lines we need to show that we see her and love her as she is today. We need to help her get that phone.
We need to call her on it for as long as we have her here to call.
I’ll see you next week…
–bingo
This entry was posted on Sunday, September 16th, 2018 at 3:08 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.