Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Dr. Darrell White's Personal Blog

Cape Cod

Connections: Sunday musings…3/3/19

No man is an island. True? Unlike so many animals who share parts of our space on the rock and only convene when it is time to propagate a species, I do think for humans that the old saw is, indeed, true. We are who we are, but we are expressed in many ways by how and with whom we are connected.

At the moment Beth and I are winding down a visit with my Mom in Rhode Island. She still lives in the house in which my siblings and I grew up, bouncing around like a ping pong ball in a gymnasium. She remains in place because of connections in both the present day and the past. I have no idea if she feels this way, but whenever I visit my primordial bed the house seems oddly full, even though only Mom lives there. It’s as if I’m surrounded by ghosts, connected to the past lives of everyone who ever lived here, myself included.

None of us lives in Rhode Island any longer. My brother and two sisters each live a couple of hours away, and we live a flight way in the Midwest. One could reasonably ask why Mom is still here. Not just in the large home from we which were all spawned, but in Rhode Island at all. Again, it’s the connections. Being near family is the logical choice as one ages, but sometimes the connections are simply strong enough to age in place. Such is what we find each each time we visit, and each time we rediscover this it is that much more lovely.

When my Dad was sick Mom pretty much withdrew into the house to become his primary caretaker. The extensive ties to the community my parents enjoyed did not disappear however, but rather just faded back a bit, remaining there, ready to reappear when Mom emerged after Dad died. Being out and about town this weekend we were impressed again and again by how many people were connected to Mom. Church, club, neighborhood, friendships from the days when she was a part of a couple, our classmates from school, all there and keeping her safely in place.

There’s really nothing new in this observation. Well, maybe the discovery of a few connections that I still have here in town was new, but seeing once again how connected Mom is wasn’t really new. Will it last? Will those connections remain strong enough to continue to stay here, at home? Who knows. For now it’s enough to see and feel the connections that we all have to our hometown, and to see how our hometown continues to connect with our Mom.

Let no Mom be an island.

I’ll see you next week…

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